What you described is exactly how I feel going into this second year. . It takes me back. The husband is now “ripe for the picking” and very vulnerable to ANY woman that compliments him. THAT’S what widowhood is like with our family and loved ones. I appreciate it so much. Got my peace back!! I’m just so sorry you two are going through personal hell. I wish they could be wrapped around you for protection, but unfortunately every step of your life since birth, there is less I can protect you from. My heart goes out to you, too. There’s so much understanding from other people here. My husband of 39 years passed away on Dec 18, 2017 quite unexpectedly. I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for God holding me up every day! I lost my husband 31 years ago… he was 30 I was 29. I guess year one knew I couldn’t handle all of the revelations at once so it saved plenty for year two. sometime I think I may wake up from this horrible nightmare. This is why one common feature of profound grief is the sense that a part of ourselves has died; in a psychologically real sense, it has. I’ve grappled with the reason my divorce happened, and the only answer I’ve gotten from my ex was “I just wasn’t ready for marriage”. Don’t tell him. My husband dropped the bomb on me that he was leaving as my boys and I pulled into the driveway. I tried but it’s just constant yelling on his part. Jess apologies no longer mean anything to me as actions speak louder than words. May be all persist, be stronger and help others along the way! The brand-new grievers with raw, fresh pain stay on my heart and in my prayers for months and months. Since May , I have cried almost daily , my heart is heavy and full of sorrow for leaving my husband like that …He wasn’t perfect , nor was I but my marriage was worth saving , my home was worth saving , my children deserved two parents ….I did not realize any of that when this happened …Like I said , I had no feelings , I wasn’t sad , happy , glad , mad , I was emotionless and was like a zombie …I went through the motions of life but I literally was not all there …All I have left other than our wonderful girls is a few pictures I have of him …I look at these pictures every night ….I am heartbroken and inconsolable that I didn’t at least try to make things work …I honestly believe that the picture of our apartment complex triggered a “delayed PTSD” in me that I am suffering greatly with …Thanks for listening ….I needed to try to make some sense of what I didn’t do what I should have …. Lydia. Sheila and AanaI don’t believe time will heal (on it’s own) Emotional wounds need cleansing (with tears of grief and sadness) and airing and bathing (in sunshine and happiness) Do this for yourself.Do it without expectation of great new love, and allow good things to come to you in all forms – friendships, flowers, health, sharing, giving, creating, growing . In her place there is emerging a new, changed person that begs to be discovered. I am a widow, 6 months out…..thank you for sharing. And thank you for being here!!! Linda – my heart goes out to you. I’m going into my 18th month a widow after 24 years together constantly. Thank you for your blog. I hope you don’t mind that I share this. TK – you’ve literally taken the words would utterout of my mouth snd heart. Wish you all the best, Almost ten years maybe longer can’t remember I Still hate her, Eric, for your sake and those you connect with – learn to forgive. She’s lonely. I know there is no way out but through and I’m no coward. Love your story, it seems most of our stories are so similar! I really appreciate your encouraging and kind words more than you know. Although we didn’t get the chance to get married like we planned, he was my heart and soul completely. I know that’s not going to bring him back but I’m so heartbroken. Web: https://www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com/. Wife buys into the Hollywood happily ever after fantasy and puts HUGE expectations on her husband to “make her happy” . Read our information about coronavirus and cancer, my husband passed away 29th October. my heart isn’t just heavy, it’s shattered for them. I seem strong, but deep inside l am bleeding. Charles, I am so sorry to read your story, like all the others above. I try to move on but occasionally still miss him even though he was a very evil person. I’m with you though – down with March! I felt lighter just getting past it. Thank you for stopping by my website. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. He was in his early 40s. Some days during my divorce I wanted my ex husband back and sometimes I wanted him dead. Go forward with your life, Sally. Please search for my article on Caregiving. Someone sent this to me because April 3rd is one year since I lost my Jim. He died of bone cancer, open heart, muscular dystrophy, diabetic, bladder cancer twice.